Under the surface we all have cracks. We’re not perfectly existing. But, we don’t always show those cracks to people who love us or especially to people at work. I was taught to be positive and not bring other people down with my problems. And I learned quickly as a kid that I drew the wrong kind of attention to myself if I showed my feelings to my parents or siblings. There was already a lot of conflict in my home growing up and I wasn’t going to add to it. I wanted safety and peace as a kid, not more lectures and problems. It was easier to always appear happy because I was able to keep people at a distance from who I was. I internalized my feelings inside the wall I built and became my own support system. No one could hear me because I didn’t give any voice to my feelings. Except anger. I was either happy or angry. But, I never wanted to show anxiety or depression. If I did, I became even more isolated punishing myself for showing those emotions to anyone. In fact, sometimes I would cut off friendships that saw my depression or anxiety so that I never had to face them. Reaching out for professional help meant that I was going to admit I had a problem. Similar to an alcoholic who never admits to their disease, I never wanted to face mine.